It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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