God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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