His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
