What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
We got so high we made milksteak
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
