I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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