this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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