When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
