11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
