Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
