I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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