Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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