that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
