Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
he fucked my hip out of place.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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