The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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