how can u be prego again
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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