I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
