Kiss
Puke
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
