i just had sex bonerless
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
