Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
