Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
