just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
