two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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