dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
