I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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