In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize