got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
