If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
