you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
