I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
