He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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