So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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