So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
