And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I will be naked everywhere
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
