Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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