How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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