walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
