Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
