should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
