porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
