I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
