I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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