I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Someone shit on the floor
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
