Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
