He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
