This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
