Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
