Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
