ya dads aren't the best wingmen
so that wasnt chicken after all
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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