NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize