i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
