You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize