This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
