South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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