I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
