if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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