I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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