Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Randomize
