my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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