Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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