i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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