after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
