Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
