OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
He passed out mid-signature
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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